Autoscopy
This autoscopy is supposed to represent the struggles of my human mind throughout this year. I started off by having body dysmorphia, and I was even finding excuses to not eat as much due to me being a first year commuter. I felt guilty spending my dad's money on food, since I couldn't get a job on campus. I felt like a disgrace to him, even though he's told me not to worry about the money. Because of these damaging thoughts, I self-starved myself at night, not finding a proper balance to take care of myself. I've had multiple intensive palpitations throughout some weeks of the semester due to having constant stress.
The clock symbolizes time management, how I've been programmed like a robot by the French system to work, work and work for my classes, thus being one of the most ambitious, hard-working students at The University of Tampa. The dark background is due to a crocodile skin background that I've implemented to the autoscopy to serve as a metaphor of my skin peeling off, which represents the putrefaction of my own soul. The masks in the background serve to me as a facade to hide the truth behind the mask that I show on a daily basis when leaving my dorm. I pretend everything is fine, when it's truly not. I'm on the verge on reaching a breaking point, but I have a strong self-control. I'm very reserved, and only speak about such demons to myself.
No one truly cares about you (except your family, if you're lucky as I am). Such is life. We have to keep moving forward and focus on improving ourselves. Everyone has their voices and their demons, but I've been programmed to fight against them. The French system is no joke, and I believe it has prepared me to challenge the adversities of life. As they say: "Tough times never last, only tough people last."
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